March 13th "Childhoot Memory"

This was a tough topic for me because I was hard pressed to think of a positive thing to say about my childhood. I was a sensitive child with a mother who was very sick and a father who was rather indifferent. I know without a doubt that they did the best they could at the time with what they were equipped with, and I'm not going to go into details except to say I suffered with debilitating anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember.

Fast forward to the year 1987. Even typing the year makes me smile. :) That's the year my son was born and I became a mom. I was only 19, still a kid.... a very naive, impressionable, immature, ignorant kid. But when I came home with this baby who needed me (after a few weeks of being completely overwhelmed) I was totally and permanently in love.

                                                           He is the moon and the stars.


It's funny.... before my son was born, the sky was blue and the grass was green. As soon as he was in my arms the sky was BLUE!! and the grass was GREEN!! Everything in my world was enhanced and amplified and so, so vibrant and alive. But still I struggled, as most new, young moms do. During his six week check up, I struggled with his heavy car seat and diaper bag as he screamed and cried and wailed all through the parking lot and waiting room. I was nervous and stressed and I very nearly dropped him. I silently cried as he cried while waiting our turn to be called. The pediatrician, I have forgotten her name, said to me, "You're doing a great job." and that little sentence turned my life around and I began to feel like I really was a good mom. And that is what I strove to be, every day since that moment.